My Bishop is cooler than Your Bishop

Last night I was talking to my bishop.

He asked me how the 'boys situation' is.

I responded with an "Ehh, A'ight" type of answer.

This is what he did next:

"Erin, hold up your full fist there."

I clenched my hand and lifted it up in front of me.

"Yeah, that looks pretty good. Ok, here's what you do.

To any guys that don't treat you right, you have my permission to give them a black eye."

We laughed, and continued our conversation.

A few minutes later, as we were finishing, he stopped me.

"Hold up that fist again."

I did. He lifted his fist as well.

A very serious look came upon his face.

"Now this may just be the father in me talking, but if you ever need me to, I'll personally give any guy a black eye for you. Just say the word and its done."

In conclusion, my Bishop is awesome.

That is all.

...

I have zero desire to write anything.

Words I didn't say, but probably should have.

I was thinking just the other day about Men.

You know, its funny. I don't think I really know a whole lot of "Men." Or, at least, DATE a lot of "Men." Boys, yes. Men, not so much.

I think you catch my drift.

Without further ado, Here are a few things that I wish I had said, but didn't, to guys that I have dated in the past.

Each comment belongs to a different guy, in no particular order.

Enjoy.

"Unless you have some kind of larynx issue, stop clearing your throat so much. It makes you sound pretentious."

"WHAT do you even WANT?!"

"Buddy, You're the one who made things awkward. I was fine, I am fine. I told you so, I don't know why you didn't believe me. Stop feeding that ego of yours, and quit t

alking to my friends about it instead of me."

"Don't you judge me for watching Desperate Housewives........ or the Jersey Shore...... or Teen Mom......... or that. No no. Don't do it."

"So. The way you kiss. ...yeah, that's gross."

"No offense, but I would prefer not to know about those... "personal issue" medical procedures you had... ahem. That, my friend, is your own bidness. Nooo thanks."

"Well... THAT was stupid."

A funny thing happened on the way to the Morris Center.

This morning, on my way to work, I was walking my usual route up through Helaman Halls. For a period, there was an older lady walking as well, maybe about 20-25 feet in front of me.

It was a lovely morning, and I was actually in a pretty good mood. Surprising, seeing as I generally loathe mornings.

After I had been following behind her for about three minutes or so, she suddenly stopped and stood still. I kept walking, since I had to get to work on time. She turned her head a little and smiled at me as I got closer to her. I smiled back. It was a lovely morning, after all.

Two seconds later, a... peculiar smell floated gently on the morning breeze into my face. I wrinkled my nose and tried to figure out what it was, mixed with the smell of the fresh air and grass and newly blooming flowers. I passed her, still trying to figure out the source of the stench.

Suddenly, it hit me. I know that smell.

I turned around to look at the woman behind me know, who had started into a building nearby. I couldn't help but notice what I believe was a smirk on her face.

Yep. She had definitely passed gas... farted... tooted... or so to speak.

Basically, in my face.

...

Charming.

Obsession.

I have recently discovered that I have an upsetting addiction and or obsession with a few things:

Gummy things... shaped like people or animals. None of that fruit or obscure blob nonsense here.

Napping. I nap almost every day now. I have no idea why, but suddenly I'm constantly exhausted. Boo.

The song "Pretty Girl Rock." Specifically the remix featuring Kanye West. ...He mentions ATL. Done and done.

Hermit crabs. I'm pretty sure we all already know about this one.

And lastly... Mustaches. I have a mustache necklace from Maddux**... I will soon own a mustache ring... and I have an adhesive mustache pinned to my wall... I'm pretty sure my wedding reception will one day be mustache themed.

**PS: I won a contest. I got $100 at Maddux Couture Boutique, a local clothing store here in Provo. So if you are one of the 228 people who voted for me in the facebook contest, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

That is all.

Hermit Crabs: The next generation.

Although my heart still mourns for Phil, who has been gone for several weeks now, I had to fill that hole in my heart where the little man used to reside.

So, on Thursday evening, Amy and I went to Petsmart to see what we could see in the hermit crab terrarium.

And so I would like to announce to you, people of the internets:

Its triplets.

Yep, thats right. I couldn't turn my head away from any of these three babies. They're adorable. I couldn't help myself. I caved.