Chase: You have to stop shopping at Target.

Me: We have to break up.

The life and times of Hiccup and Sniffles

I have learned several things in this past week of owning guinea pigs.

For one thing, I have learned how to build an entire habitat on my own. With some assistance from the boyfriend... but I could have done it on my own. Just saying.

I also learned how to MOSTLY litter train them. Its a work in progress.

Also, guinea pigs poop... like, a lot. And often. Like, a whole lot.
I don't know how to emphasize the amount of pooping they do... its a lot.

Giving guinea pigs a bath is both cute and awful. Mostly though, trimming their nails is a bigger pain. Especially when one keeps trying to poop on you the entire time.

DAGNABBIT, SNIFFLES, I AM ONLY TRYING TO BE A GOOD MOTHER.


I've also been watching a lot of youtube videos about guinea pigs. Apparently you can teach them tricks!! I want to go to there.

In addition, google is probably very puzzled by my choice of searches lately.

That is all for now. Come again children.

They are not rats.

I have some exciting news, Internet People.

Last night, two new members joined my lil famdamily.

I would like to officially welcome them:

Hiccup "Rico Suave"

and

Sniffles "Johnny Bravo."

They are the two shmooshiest most adorablest guinea pigs this side of the Mississippi.

Mr. Sniffles himself. 

Hiccup Rico Suave

Frankly, I am twelve kinds of enthused about these new lil baby shmabies. 

Dawwwwwww LOOKIT THEIR FACES.

That is all. 

And now for a list of things I don't like.

I don't like:

Coldplay

Yellowcard

Making difficult decisions

The majority of high schoolers

People who don't have the cajones to tell you something to your face

Mormon Dances

Self Righteousness

Being cut off in Traffic

Nickelback

Judgmental beotches

The color puce

That is all. 

Happy Monday, you lil biznatches. 

Diary of a Vegetarian Noob: Day 2

Last night I went to a thai restaurant and ate Tofu for the first time in many years.

And guess what?

It was not bad.

It was actually, I may venture to say it, Good. I legitimately enjoyed it.

Huh. Who knew. 

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE.

A couple nights ago, I was bored and flicking through various documentaries on Netflix. I started watching "Forks Over Knives" because I'd heard it was a good film, done by James Cameron and whatnot.

Turns out, it really does make a very compelling argument for veganism/whole foods/etc. I texted a friend that happens to be a vegan, and was telling him about my curiosity. He sent me a few videos, etc.

Now, I get emails from PETA regularly, but thats really just because I like their stickers they send me once a year for free. They make me giggle. And as a consequence of this, Ive seen more than a couple of bizarre, graphic videos detailing "exploitation" of animals and cruelty, etc etc. You know the kind. I've never really bought into it anyways, though I'm not really sure why not. I guess I just like giving people the benefit of the doubt, including the farming industry. Or something. Whatever.

Anyways, I watched this one video in particular. I've embedded it here, just for kicks and giggles. It's lengthy, but still an interesting watch. It's from a guest lecturer at Georgia Tech a couple of years ago.




Well, thanks to the compelling arguments and evidence set forth by my friends and the internet, I'm going to start trying for a while to not eat meat. Now, I don't know that I would ever become a full fledged, full-on vegan, because.... cheese. Nom. But I  have already gone extensive amounts of time before without eating meat, or even really thinking about it.

How do you know I'm legit about this? Well, let me tell you.

Today at work, I turned down a free chicken biscuit from Chik Fil A.

Its like... I don't even know who I am anymore.

Who am I??

Sigh.

I have a problem.

I have a very intense desire to dye my hair a ridiculous color. 

Darn you, Pinterest. You always make me want to do something awesome, but taunt me with the fact that I just can't.

Why, you may ask? 

(Well, my mother is probably reading this and saying something about me looking like a goth or punk etc etc for wanting to do so.) 

I think it is relatively clear that if I actually went out and did this on a wim, that it would more or less (a little bit more than less) a complete and total career killer. 

Soooooo, Unless I got a job as an eclectic artist of some sort, I probably couldn't get away with this. Especially not as a receptionist in uptown Atlanta. 

I say PROBABLY..... maybe I can sweet talk my boss. 

Pretty sure I'm his favorite anyways. 

Which is your favorite? Which (hypothetically speaking of course) would look coolest with mah face? 

I'm partial to the shades of purple right now. I had a pink streak and a burgundy streak once upon a time. Alas, no more. It was just a charming shade of womp womp brown til I smacked some dye on top of this biznatch. Now its a rather lovely "Maple Brown." Or so says the label on the box from the drugstore. 

Classy. Like a boss.