Quotations

I was looking through my facebook lately, and I saw that I have some really quality quotes on my profile. Allow me to demonstrate:

There comes a time in every man's life when he must look the potato of injustice in the eye.
-Stanley Spadowski

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
-Steven Wright

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today because it's already tomorrow in Australia.
-Charlie Brown

You endorsed them? They are fine checks. I support them completely.
-my father

"Who needs World Peace when we have World Like?"
-my mom

Ross: "That girl was a dude"
Becky: "Yeah, you can tell by the hands, or sometimes their feet"
Ross: "Or by the fact that she looks like a dude."

“He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart”
-CS lewis

"Who peed in his wheaties this morning?"
-Wendy

Mom: If they jumped off a building, would you?
Me: If it looked fun!
Adam: If they had jellybeans!

"What are you, blind? The man is terminally gorgeous!"
-Quantum Leap

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.
-Thomas S. Monson

"Children in backseats cause accidents; Accidents in backseats cause children."