WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE??

Question, my dear children.

ARE YOU ALL INSANE???

You may have noticed the poll I recently posted on the sidebar of this here blog. A simple question, obvious to myself:

"Spiderman or Batman?"

I am distraught.

The majority of you said... cringe... Batman.

Batman. Ugh.

I just want to express my extreme disappointment to all of you.

The true, correct answer is OBVIOUS.

SPIDERMAN.

As a dear friend of mine would say, "Durt da dur!"

I simply don't understand this obsession with Batman lately.

I mean, lets think about this logically for a minute.

Batman: Superhero. NOT.

Batman is just some spoiled rich kid who decided that he was going to become a superhero.

HELLOOOO! You can't DECIDE to be a superhero. You have to have super POWERS. DUH!

You're probably thinking, Well, Batman has some ninja powers! Or whatever. But so does Chuck Norris! And he is about 5 million times cooler than Batman, and probably about 5 zillion times better at them than him. So who even NEEDS Batman, really?

Batman doesn't even make his own stuff. Sure, he may come up with some sort of basic conceptual idea, but then he hands it over to his butler or engineer buddies, and they do all the hard work. Not to mention, has anyone noticed how WHINY Bruce is? Wah wah wah, I can't get the girl, wah wah wah, Rachel died, wah wah wah, the Joker drives me crazy.

Now Spiderman, on the other hand, is in a completely different league altogether.

You will probably say to me, "Erin. Come on. Peter Parker is a pretty whiny little buttmunch." To which I will say, "You may be a little bit right. But think about it. Peter Parker is still sort of a teenager/young adult, whereas Bruce is an grown up, who is obviously letting his girly emotions get in the way of this vigilante stuff he is attempting to pull off."

(If you were wondering, yes, I did indeed just give teenagers and young adults permission to whine. You gotta try and get it all out of your system while you're still young and can get away with it, before you turn into a girly cat, i mean bat, obsessed dude.)

Spiderman's powers are also obviously more insanely awesome than Batman's. A freaking mutant spider thingy bit him and gave him super legit web capabilities, muscles, increased vision, and overall coolness. I mean, have you WATCHED him sling those suckers around? Pretty freaking awesome, am I right? They give him a sort of ninja-like sense as well, which only adds to the excellence.

As a final note, check out Spiderman and Batman's costumes for a second here:

I'm just saying... That whole cape thing is severely overrated. Its bound to get in the way at some point. And the way the whole outfit is sculpted, its like he's trying to create the illusion of buffness that may or may not be there. Just planting the seed if you will.

So, Spiderman defenders, I call you to arms. Show us that Spiderman is a true superhero, and not a wannabe like...the other one.

Over and Out.

UPDATE

Since the time of my posting this, I have taken a completely different stance altogether. And no, this stance is not for Chuck Norris for a change. (come on, guys, that should be a given.)

It is for The Green Lantern, AKA Ryan Freaking Reynolds.

See for yourselves.