It just gets better and better.

So it turns out, I'm allergic to peas.

PEAS.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Last night I felt the familiar signs of my body going down that ever so delightful ascent into Anaphylactic Shock, after having eaten some peas in an attempt to be healthy.

I should know better by now. That's why I ate cookies for breakfast. Don't gotta tell me twice!

Anywho.

If you were curious, that racks up the food allergies/issues to the following:

1. Tree Nuts

--including, but not limited to, pecans, almonds, walnuts, hazelnuts, macadamia nuts, pine nuts, brazil nuts, pretty much any and every type of nut... excpet Peanuts. Because peanuts are not technically nuts. They are legumes. But that is another rant for another time.

2. Kiwi

--I cannot touch the stuff, for if I do, it makes me break out through and through. My hands, my fingers, lips and mouth, will turn bright red and swell about.

I just wrote a poem. Wow.

3. Milk

--This is the most manageable of my food issues. All I have to do is take a pill before, during, or just after consumption of dairy products, and its all gravy. That is, if gravy were ice cream or yogurt or Nesquick.

4. Peas.

We all know about this one.

And all of the above is in addition to my various physical maladies, which include

-Scoliosis

-Flat Feet

-TMJ

-Off-Track Kneecaps on both legs

-Tennis Elbow

-and for some unexplained reason, I bleed a lot. Not like a hemophiliac, but I just bleed for a while after I hurt myself. There's no reason for it. My blood counts are all normal, and I'm not anemic.

I promise I'm not some weird, pale sickly child-like creature. I eat pretty healthily to be honest, and I go to the gym almost everyday for at least an hour.

Okay, so maybe I am pretty pale. But I blame that on my practically entirely Caucasian ancestry, who probably never really had an affinity for being in the sunlight.

Body FAIL.