Expletives.

Poop.

I went to the Coke machine in the hallway a little bit ago. I put in my quarters and pressed the Lemonade button.

What did it give me?

A Mr. Pibb.

Someone is trying to kill me.

Its working.

In other news, while Amy and I were walking back from the gym today, I dropped my phone on the sidewalk, and yelled out rather loudly, "MOTHER TRUCKER!" A man on the other side of the street walking just stopped, stared for a second, and laughed as I yelled and picked it up.

You're welcome for the amusement, stranger. May we meet again some day and bond over my substitute swear words.