If you didn't know, I am also really cool.

Sometimes, when I'm sitting at my desk in Dave and Buster's Boxers and my snuggie, gnawing on an entire thing of semi-stale french bread, watching tv on the internets, even I find it hard to believe that anyone could be this cool.

A little poo, negative nancies and a... gIFtY!

This is just a little poo for publicity.... please read and anticipate the consequences thereof.

So as you may know by now, I'm trying to get more followers on this blog. The point is to get people to smile and laugh at what's written here. This is a no negative nancies zone.

We will not talk about health care reform here, or genocide, or dead puppies, or why life is unfair, whine whine whine.

This is a NO WHINING ZONE.

However, this IS a free-to-complain zone. Just not in a whiny way.

ANYHOO,

While we're here, we might as well get some free stuff out of it. And I am more than happy to find and provide that free stuff for you, my dearies, to enjoy while you're shluffing around my blog.

THEREFORE:

The very first "As Happy as a Turtle on a Conveyor Belt" Giveaway will be given when we have reached 30 followers. I've already got something lined up! That's right, there is a GUARANTEE that there will be a giveaway when we have reached 30 followers on this blog.

I propose another proposal:

Since I'm trying to get my name out there, in association with this blog, I am offering a reward to those who help me get followers.

Between today, (3-26-10) and Two weeks from now, (4-9-10) I'm asking that you help me find those poor unfortunate souls who are without my knowledge, wisdom, and comic relief in their upsettingly dull lives. He or She that successfully refers the most followers between then and now will receive a special gifty.

ooOooOOOooohhHh, a gIFtY!!

Get excited about it.

Here are the rules:

1. You must already be a follower of this blog yourself.

2. The person you referred must comment on a blog post (ANY recent blog post) confirming that you referred them.

3. The referred person must also become a follower.

4. He or She that has referred the most followers within the two week period will receive the gIFtY!

5. The gIFtY will be revealed at the termination of the contest period. Thats fancy talk for in two weeks, suckas.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Just comment it under here or email me at erindeborah@gmail.com

Spring is in the air, kids.

Dear Couple sitting in the library for all to see:

We know you love each other. We can all see that shiny lil engagement ring on your hand, woman. Congratulations. But I have a favor to ask you:

Please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, save your mackin and extremely physical flirting for a less public place.



I Propose a Prospect:

Let us all bind together to create a group.
A group for the protection and safety of the innocent eyes of Provo.
You may think that such a group is unneeded, but you would be wrong.

I feel like the title I have created for this society is fairly self-explanatory:

We shall call ourselves, "The People for the Privatizing of Public Displays of Affection for Everyone Else's Good."

Also known as PPPDAEEG for short.
(pronounced pee-pee-pee-day-eeg. obviously.)

Catchy, right?? It should be put on a t-shirt.

HOLLA.

Top 5 Reasons Why Vampire Weekend is Cooler Than You.

In order to keep everyone humble, I just thought I would make a little reminder of why Vampire Weekend is cooler than you. Obviously.

1) Vampire Weekend has the ability to get celebrities like Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Lil Jon to appear in their music videos.
Your Music videos are taken with a webcam and are of you singing Chris Brown into your hairbrush.

2) Vampire Weekend has Ezra Koenig.
Therefore, Vampire Weekend likely has more of my love than you do.

3) Vampire Weekend has been on SNL twice.
That is two more times than you.

4) Vampire Weekend's Album Contra debuted at #1 on Billboard 200.
Do you even have an album? Didn't think so.

5) Vampire Weekend loves Old People.
Do YOU love Old People like Vampire Weekend does? Doubtful.

Please feel free to suggest more reasons why Vampire Weekend is cooler than you, and I will add them, given they are awesome enough.

The Opinion.

So I don't really ever listen to the radio or anything, since I would only ever do so in the car, and I am without car here in Utahland. However, every now and then I stumble upon mtv's website, and I end up watching about an hour or two's worth of music videos. Recently, I saw the music video for "Baby" by Justin Bieber. (sounds like 'Beaver') Apparently there is quite a big hype around this kid as of late, and he is quite the Big Deal among the tweenage crowd. So, after proper research and calculation, I have determined:

Justin Bieber is entirely too adorable.

Seriously. He is super cute. But he makes me think of my little brother... meaning he's cute in a twelve year old way. Please refer to the following charts and graphs for further proof.

As you can see, my opinion over Justin Bieber has grown favorable over time. However, Greg's studliness factor is much higher than Justin Bieber's. Take the following picture for example:

Nuff Said. Ponder on the wisdom given here.

In the meantime, Please enjoy this "Anatomy of a Lady Gaga Music Video" pie chart I have provided.

UPDATES:

Turns out Justin Bieber is actually 16. Eh. Regardless, I still think he looks to be about 12.

Also, Lady Gaga is still whack.

Actually, You CAN Buy Happiness.

It comes in a big red box, on sale for 4.88, with the words "Lucky Charms" printed on the side.

It sucks to be you.

I don't know if anyone's seen Avenue Q, but its more or less Sesame Street on crack.

Its a little bit hilarious. Some of the songs include, but are not limited to:

It Sucks to Be You

If You Were Gay

The Internet (Is for Porn)

There's also this really lovely song sung by "Kate Monster" called"There's a Fine Fine Line" which is actually quite sad, with lines like "There's a fine fine line, between together and not, and there's a fine fine line, between what you wanted, and what you got." Its a really great piece of work in all.

Basically, go youtube some of the songs, like, right now. ASAP. That is all.

over and out.