Saturday, August 14, 2010

Proof that my Father and I have a Good Relationship


Please refer to the following emails/conversations:

JULY 13
Erin:
i feel like you would appreciate my latest blog post.

Here ye gooo.

http://turtlebelt.blogspot.com/

Father:

Touching. Intuitive. Educational. Thought-provoking. Indeed, inspiring. Yes, and despite the obvious risk of losing one’s hair or turning into a cigarette-smoking trailer hussy, I too must get the Magic Bullet.

Oh, and your pictures were interesting, too. I particularly enjoyed the chocolate one. I believe I too will take a hit from the Hershey’s bottle when I get home tonight.


Erin:
stop judging me for the chocolate. it was the last of the bottle so i put milk in it and shook it up and drank it straight from the bottle. my roommates last year thought i was a crazy person. haha... yeah.

Father:
I’m not judging. I’m complimenting. TRUE CONFESSION--It’s actually something I would probably do (sans the milk) if no one was watching. Hey, I’d wipe the bottle off afterwards…

Sometimes, I get friendly, helpful emails from my Padre entitled "Useful Facts," and open them to find the following:

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry

Its True.

The other day, I called my dad to thank him for sending me another power cord for my computer when mine broke unexpectedly. As I was about to hang up, we have the following exchange:

Dad: Wait, I have something to tell you.

Erin: Whats that?

Dad:..... I don't remember.

Erin: [Long Pause]... do you remember what its about?

Dad:...No. No I don't.

Erin: Is it about school?

Dad: No.

Erin: Is it about flying home?

Dad: No.

Erin: Is it about the rest of the family?

Dad: No.

[Long Pause Again]

Erin: Was it important?

Dad: I don't think so. I don't know.

Erin: Umm, well you can call me or text me when you remember I guess... yeah.

Dad: Okay. Yeah. See you later, honey.

Erin: Bye Dad.

The next day, I got an email that read the following:


I remember what I wanted to say to you yesterday.

Have you read about the JetBlue flight attendant who had enough after getting into an argument with an obnoxious passenger so he cursed the passenger out on the plane’s PA, deployed the emergency slide, grabbed two beers, and jumped out if the plane and went home?


My Aunt sent out an email showing us a photo of a copperhead snake that she and her coworkers found outside their office one day. My dear old dad responded with his own helpful advice:

You guys should all go outside as a group and sing over and over again at the top of your lungs "Snake, snake, go away. Come again some other day." That should be effective (in my professional opinion). No charge.

What a wise, thoughtful, pensive, Chuck Norris-Fearing man. How fortunate am I indeed.

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