Friday, January 3, 2014

23 things I already did most of so deal with it.

Blah blah blah, new years resolutions. Whatever. 

I'm not going to bore you with that. I'm already bored just thinking about it. 

For the sake of argument, lets go on and say that my unofficial new years resolution is to be less confrontational or argumentative. Which, if you know me, is kind of my thing. Its all gravy, I work it. 

#werk

But there is something that has been bothering me for a while, and I've been holding my tongue, trying to keep from fueling the fire of an argument, regardless of how much the continual "Oh I know! I agree! It's so true! I feel the same way!" comments that people who post opposing, and often, rude, responses to this blog: 


On the one hand, I get that people are somewhat offended by the way she words this. I can even see how they would call it marriage-bashing. 

But I can't help but feel like these people are sort of looking for a reason to be offended by it. Of course they're going to be automatically on the defensive if they are young and married/engaged and see a post entitled "23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you're 23." I get that. Can't blame you for that, even. 

But saying scathing, albeit passive aggressive, things like accusing the girl who wrote it of being 'risque' or 'stupid.' 

Now, I read the post, and the list she created, and I have to say....  

Wat 

Call me crazy, but I don't see anything on that list that strikes me as particularly scandalous or 'risque.' The closest something comes is her #3: Make out with a stranger. 

WHOA NOW. CALL THE COPS, GET CHECKED FOR ALL THE STDS BECAUSE KISSING SOMEONE IS A TERRIBLE DECISION Y'ALL  

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've kissed a stranger before. (Sorry, Mom. Forget you read that.) Does that make me a reckless immature fool? I don't think so, but I suppose thats a matter of opinion. 


The point is, I think we're looking at this the wrong way. This is not a generalized list for every person in the free world. It's coming from a specific woman, who most likely had a more narrow group of people in mind. People like her, or her friends, or maybe she was even thinking of one friend specifically. 

Now I, personally, took this from a different perspective. 

I'm a lifetime Mormon that went to Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. Approximately 25% of undergrads are married, and that number doubles by the time they graduate. 55% of undergraduate students are married at graduation. Now, it may be a narrow margin, but technically, that does put me in the minority, seeing as I graduated with my bachelor's degree, unmarried, four years after starting school. 

What is more difficult to communicate is the culture involved therein. 

It's a somewhat unspoken, but frequently believed assumption that a young person, when going to BYU, will probably end up married during the course of their time there. 
I can't tell you how many times I've been looked at with a slightly disappointed "...Oh..." when someone learns I graduated from BYU unmarried. "Well... you're different, aren't you?" "Thats ok.... all things in their time I guess..." "I'm sure there's someone out there for you" in a condescending tone. You hear it enough times, and it gets to be borderline infuriating. It's hard not to feel like a failure when people are insinuating that if you're not married, you've done something wrong. 

So I was glad, RELIEVED even, when I saw a friend post a link to the blogpost offering what to me was a refreshing view. And a lot of people don't agree with that, and thats fine. Believe and think what you want, this is America and junk. But I don't want to have to defend myself to people who ask what's wrong with me, why I'm still single, because its a CHOICE. I have CHOSEN not to be married at this point in my life. And some people have CHOSEN to BE married right now. Good for them, some of those people are my best friends and I wish them all the happiness in the world.

So here is my slightly altered list of 23 things FOR ERIN to do. Period. 

The plain type is her original list, the bold are my alterations for various personal reasons. Red Indicates that I've already done it. 

1. Get a passport. Done. 
2. Find your “thing.” Done. 
3. Make out with a stranger. Done. 
4. Adopt a pet. Done. 
5. Start a band. Record in a professional studio. 
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too. Done... 12 times over lolzzzz
7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage. Donate blood without passing out or holding anyone's hand. 
8. Explore a new religion. Done.
9. Start a small business. Audition for a professional theatre company. 
10.Cut your hair. Done. 
11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face. Done... well it made for a good journal entry? Hahaha  
12. Build something with your hands. Done. 
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project. Done. (Ps... cinnamon rolls in a waffle iron. genius. #justsayin)
14. Join the Peace Corps. Buy a house. 
15. Disappoint your parents. I'm sure I've done this at some point in my adolescence. 
16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again. 
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. Eat a jar of Peanut Butter in one sitting. #hazelnutallergyproblems 
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places. Done, a million times over. 
19. Sign up for CrossFit. P90x or Insanity challenge. 
20. Hangout naked in front of a window. -- As long as that window is curtained and in a private area. #welp 
21. Write your feelings down in a blog. Done, WELL LOOKIT THAT! 
22. Be selfish. Oh, definitely done. 
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. Go to Lithuania and see the place my Great Grandfather came from. Done, August 2013 

So be happy with your own life decisions, and make your own choices. And stop  posting negative nancy nastiness.

Kthxloveubye 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Everyone freakin listen for a second.

This is a public service announcement. 

If you hadn't realized it by now, I hardly ever take myself seriously. 

I say and do a lot of ridiculous things. Often on social media outlets. 

I like to post pictures of things that I think are funny and/or stupid. 

And more than anything else, I like to make fun. Mostly of myself. Only of myself, really. 

I think we all know at this point that at least 85% of what I say is sarcastic and should not be taken seriously by any means. 


I shouldn't have to make this clarification, but I'm going to anyways because apparently some people cannot get a clue. 



I am not mentally unstable.
I have real human friends that I spend time with on a regular basis. 
I am not hopelessly obsessed with my guinea pigs, nor am I a guinea pig hoarder. 
I go on dates. With actual, in the flesh boys. 
I am not currently married because I have chosen not to be yet. If I really wanted to be married right now, I would be. 
I am in excellent physical health according to my doctor. 
I am in pretty good emotional health all things considered. 
I have a loving caring family and they do not judge me or worry unnecessarily about me. 


I don't need your pity. 
I don't need your "worry." 

I don't want your superiority complex expressed upon me.

If you don't like me, if you have some sort of issue with me, if you are "worried" about me, then you don't really know me. 

And that's fine. 

But do us both a favor and lay off. 



As a final thought, an exchange between Alice and the Hatter: 

"Have I gone mad?" 
"I'm afraid so. But I'll tell you a secret - All the best people are." 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Extraordinary Sass: The movie

I'm pretty sure that's what something depicting my life and times would be called.

Now, I'm not bragging on myself here. Perhaps even the opposite. I'm not sure this is something to be proud of.

But I am one of the most sass-filled passive aggressive people I know.

I'm not always very polite about it either. Sometimes the passive in passive-aggressive is a bit ignored by my voice and I just get angry.

On Sunday, someone in church tried to make a statement that "According to the scriptures" being a vegetarian is a "sin" and then cited the scripture he believed stated this and had the nerve to call it "basically doctrine."
In all seriousness. He really did. I mean, come on, man. Really?

Now I've been a flexitarian/vegetarian type person for many months now, and I'm real frustrated by that. I felt the angry lady words coming up. The older sister sitting beside me recognized the signs and laughed mildly nervously, giving me a mint so "you can have something in your mouth to keep you from saying something you'll regret."
Clearly she knows me well... so there's that.

I did at one point say aloud to the class, "We're going to need to change the subject ASAP, or I'm gonna start gettin real sassy up in here."
Later on, the group did come around and defend my point and pretty much everyone had the same opinion as I. Thankfully.

So, for the most part we dodged a bullet there. Whew.



In the meantime, I am  channeling my sass into a completely unrelated plan that I believe shall be the pinnacle of my passive-aggressive career. Which, if you know me, is quite extensive.

It has been in the works for several months and shall come to fruition quite soon. I'm particularly thrilled to instigate it in the coming days.

If people remember me in this world as a sassy, angry, bitter person, I hope they at least can look to this particular instance and remember me with acknowledgment of brilliance and, I am unashamed to admit, vindictiveness.

It shall indeed be my crowning glory.


Yea Verily.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A little late for pooting.

About a month or so ago, I got another guinea pig.

Stop rolling your eyes. Stop it right now.

STAHP IT RAHN.


Anyways, I got him from a friend who could no longer keep him and knew I have guinea pigs already. 

I had him for over a week before he even received a name, whereupon my brother Adumb aptly deemed him "Hufflepuff." 

I've taken to calling him Puff for short. 

And don't tell Hiccup or Sniffles this, but..... 

I think he's most people's favorite. 


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Not so high school musical.

Last night I was out with a group of friends from our latest community theatre show, The Crucible. It was karaoke night at the local pub and those of us over 21 (even the few of us that don't actually drink) all met up there after the show.

While we were there, a few of my friends and my boyfriend recognized a friend of theirs and met him with excitement. He then introduced himself to me, whereupon I told him that we have actually met before. Which is true.

Years ago, when I was in eighth grade, he was an assistant in directing the first play I was in, The Hobbit. He was a couple years over me and in high school. When I got to high school, we were even in several shows and musicals together, and I was in a class and shows with his twin sister as well until they graduated. We were also cast in the same show with this same community theatre group last June, but he ended up dropping out. I knew him. I knew his name. I'm pretty sure we're even Facebook friends.

And yet, this man did not know who I was.

When I said that we've met before, albeit years ago, he responded that he is bad with names but good with faces. I told him my last name and he looked at me thoughtfully for a moment then seemed to recognize me in at least some degree (or so he claimed.) he went on to tell how I've changed so much since then, look great, etc etc blah blah blah. To this moment I'm still unsure of how much I believe that he knows who I am at all.

Now as I've pondered this experience, I'm a bit torn. At first I was kind of insulted, at least a little. I knew this guy for years. We have about a hundred mutual friends, no exaggeration. And yet he had no idea who I am.

But if I take him at his word when he said that he simply didn't recognize me because I've changed so much, I have a slightly different reaction.
I mean, thank goodness.
I really have changed a phenomenal amount since high school. At least I certainly hope so. My appearance has changed pretty greatly, not to mention to butt-ton of self confidence I've gained in the years since then. I wouldn't shudder to claim I am a completely different individual than I was at that time.

So on another hand, I was sort of flattered/relieved that he didn't recognize me, due to my changed persona.

That got me thinking. If I could go back to more of the people I knew in high school, would I re-introduce myself to them as a totally new person? Especially if I consider myself to be one. There are definitely people I knew back then that I'm sure will likely have a skewed image of me in their heads for possibly years to come, as that small, shy, awkward, quiet redhead who wore t-shirts and jeans every single day of her life. (Well... Maybe not everything has changed.)
Would I change that image if I could? Should I, given the opportunity? Or should I attempt to embrace that past self, to acknowledge her and reflect and learn from it?

Would you?

And more importantly, does this stuff even matter or is my brain doing its over thinking thing again that it does so very well?

The answer is, all of the above.

Friday, April 12, 2013

An Open Letter Concerning Glee's ep. "Shooting Star"


Last night the television show Glee premiered a new episode entitled "Shooting Star." 

In this episode they detailed the thoughts and feelings surrounding a school shooting type situation. While I do think that parts of this show were well done, and a lot of raw feelings and emotions were well displayed, I had a huge issue with the way they concluded the show. 

**Spoiler Alert for those who have not yet watched it**

In the end, it was the student Becky, who has Down's Syndrome, who had brought her father's gun to school and accidentally fired shots. The reasoning they gave was that she was scared to move on from high school and that no one would protect her in the real world. 

I have a sister who is MID (Mildly Intellectually Disabled) and has been in special ed programs all her life. My family and I have had the opportunity to meet and have involved in our lives many others who share a similar situation or mental disability. 

I wanted to like this episode very badly. And parts of it I certainly did. I loved that there were a lot of poignant moments between the students. But the ending was so upsetting to me that I simply cannot get past it. 

My mother wrote the following open letter to the creators of the show. If you feel the same, I urge you to share this and send it along to them as well, to show that this type of thing is upsetting, hurtful, and even damaging to society. 

As she said herself, 

"Thanks, Glee, for picking on the last segment of society unable to defend themselves.


---------


To The Writers and Producers of GLEE....

It makes me ANGRY and sad that this show who has championed the rights of gay, bisexual, and physically handicapped kids should now show a mentally handicapped Down syndrome child doing something so unlikely. In my personal 26+ years of knowing and being around them, none of them have shown the slightest proclivity to do such a thing. 

Shame. On. GLEE.

Every one of the mildly intellectually disabled (MID) people I have known shy away from such things. 
But, Thanks A Lot, GLEE. Who knows what damage you have inflicted with this? I was watching with my own 26 year old music-loving, choir-singing MID daughter after American Idol was on. Thanks a whole lot--NOT. I'm incredibly sad today and hurt more than I can say....

Her Mom

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Chase: You have to stop shopping at Target.

Me: We have to break up.