Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Extraordinary Sass: The movie

I'm pretty sure that's what something depicting my life and times would be called.

Now, I'm not bragging on myself here. Perhaps even the opposite. I'm not sure this is something to be proud of.

But I am one of the most sass-filled passive aggressive people I know.

I'm not always very polite about it either. Sometimes the passive in passive-aggressive is a bit ignored by my voice and I just get angry.

On Sunday, someone in church tried to make a statement that "According to the scriptures" being a vegetarian is a "sin" and then cited the scripture he believed stated this and had the nerve to call it "basically doctrine."
In all seriousness. He really did. I mean, come on, man. Really?

Now I've been a flexitarian/vegetarian type person for many months now, and I'm real frustrated by that. I felt the angry lady words coming up. The older sister sitting beside me recognized the signs and laughed mildly nervously, giving me a mint so "you can have something in your mouth to keep you from saying something you'll regret."
Clearly she knows me well... so there's that.

I did at one point say aloud to the class, "We're going to need to change the subject ASAP, or I'm gonna start gettin real sassy up in here."
Later on, the group did come around and defend my point and pretty much everyone had the same opinion as I. Thankfully.

So, for the most part we dodged a bullet there. Whew.

In the meantime, I am  channeling my sass into a completely unrelated plan that I believe shall be the pinnacle of my passive-aggressive career. Which, if you know me, is quite extensive.

It has been in the works for several months and shall come to fruition quite soon. I'm particularly thrilled to instigate it in the coming days.

If people remember me in this world as a sassy, angry, bitter person, I hope they at least can look to this particular instance and remember me with acknowledgment of brilliance and, I am unashamed to admit, vindictiveness.

It shall indeed be my crowning glory.

Yea Verily.