Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Holy Deuce.





I don't understand.

Why can't I buy this yet??

Don't they understand that I could potentially be their single largest buyer?!

Dave Hakkens, you need to get on that ASAP. Because I am all over that like white on rice, my friend. White. On. Rice.



Friday, March 4, 2011

Philosophy.

I don't know a lot of things.
But, I do have some fundamental philosophies on life that I would like to take this moment to share with you.


I believe that no one should be required to make conversation before 10am.

I think that mullets are gone... And they are. NEVER. coming back.

I believe that the world is a cold, cruel place... A cold, cruel, place that has created some really excellent chicken wings.

I think that it should be socially acceptable for men to wear high heels.

In my fantasy world, string cheese grows out of the ground like grass and it rains Diet Coke.
And on overcast days, everyone goes outside to watch the Krispy Kreme Donut sun peek out from behind the Boston Cream filled clouds.

I have found that I am able to function perfectly well on 3 hours of sleep a night, if everyone around me is okay with putting up with my deliriousness and lack of lucidity the following day.

I always find it completely appropriate to walk into my apartment after school and greet my roommate by booty dancing up to her while singing along to "Work it out" by Beyonce.

Fruit Snacks= Joy.

I think that everyone should have to take 5 minutes out of their day to eat a cookie.

I think that I think about food too much.

I believe that genealogy is awesome.
Why?
Well, in part because Barack Obama and I are eighth cousins.
Yeah. Suck it.

I say, that if you screw with my friends, I will not let you get away with it. I am extraordinarily and unapologetically defensive of people I love, and I will cut a fool if you try to go there. Just ask anyone.
Momma Grizzly Bear gonna get you. Just sayin.

I stand by the fact that "cauliflower" is just too difficult a word to say.
[I have also been told that I say 'flower, oil, owl, and scientist' weird. Due to my supposed "southern accent."]

I have found that the song "Suga Suga" by Baby Bash is highly addictive and has a tendency to get stuck in my head literally at least once an hour.

And on a final note,

I believe that sometimes Boys are stupid, and then occasionally Boys are great-- but mostly Girls are stupid all the time.