Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Heads up: This post has a nasty-nast photo.

Well I started out the morning in an utterly delightful manner.

Most people that know me know that I am very.... shall we say, accident prone.

I was biking to work, as I usually do. I bike through Helaman Halls here on campus, which is also where all the EFY and Sports Camps kids are being housed this summer. Now I usually see at least a few of them on the sidewalks or whatever in the morning, reading their little scriptures and writing in their little journals, but today there was an inordinate amount ALL over EVERY sidwalk and pathway that I usually take to get up to work.

So I maneuvered slowly and deliberately through the children types, and finally reached a place where I thought I could bike without worrying about hitting them. So I got on and started pedaling, but about 30 seconds later, my foot slipped, and I felt the bike tipping to one side. I let out an unidentified expletive, and crashed to the ground while simultaneously still moving forward. The result was the entire left side of my forearm receiving a sizable smack, scrape, and bruising, and as I would discover not long afterwards, a gash that goes from my elbow to the middle of my arm.


After a couple more unidentified expletives, I saw one of the EFY counselors making his way over. I thought to myself, "Oh, thats just what I need. A bunch of 14 year olds staring at me as their counselor saves the day." So I brushed him off with a wave and "I'm fine, I'm fine," As a few sports camps 16 year olds passed me by, asking if I was alright. I'm not one to admit I ever need help, so I brushed them off too, and pushed my bike the rest of the ten minutes to work, since apparently the chain popped off its doo-hickey, so it was temporarily unrideable.

At work, I spent a good 20 minutes alone trying to wash the black of the pavement off my arm and out of my openly bleeding arm. Now, I'm extremely blood and needle phobic, so a couple times I got kind of faint from just looking at it, and had to sit down.


All in all, I ended up having to go to the Creamery on 9th to get gauze and tape, since all we have in the office is 3/4 inch bandaids. I spent the entire first hour at work trying to fix myself. Hah. At least I was clocked in.

In conclusion, I would just like to add that Hydrogen Peroxide hurts like a mother.

That is all.

Oh oh, wanna see it??

This is of my bruised and scraped up hand. Its not super clear, cause I used my cell phone camera, but hopefully you can at least see the discoloration and some scrapes.

Annnd this is my beautiful wound.

I likes it.

Buuut its gross.

Oh wellll.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A Confession

I have long denied it,

Even vehemently protested it.

But there is no more denying it--

I have Bieber Fever.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Documentation of some very recent, very upsetting fever dreams.

Apparently, when I am sick, I dream about boys.


Who even does that?

Particularly because its basically the last thing on my mind while I've been lying restless in bed in my illness for four days, trying not to pass out or upchuck, praying that the sweltering heat or freezing cold that plagues my body will stop appearing and reappearing.

Rough life.

So on Thursday night I fell asleep amongst the throes of a thriving fever of 102.
Here's a little taste.

"Erin, please! Why won't you marry me!"
"Because, Bryan! You have a girlfriend! You must love her."
"But what we have together is so special!"
"It was a one-night stand, you idiot. Almost a year ago!"
"But Erin, I love you!"
"But you never even called, you turdburgalor! So it was a one-night stand! And you can't let our childish foolishness get in the way of what could be true happiness with Mckayla. You've just announced on facebook that you love HER! And we all know that facebook is a big honkin deal!"
"But I just don't know if I can do it anymore.. Hold back my feelings for you and keep her and the rest of the world in the dark about our love."
And thats when Bryan left the room, his face and heart fallen, a sad, lonely tear falling down his cheek. I heard him meet Mckayla outside. She asked what was wrong, and he mournfully looked back at my doorway as his head sank, and he sullenly slunk off.
Mckayla's glare was icy as she came to my door.
"Stay away from my man, you harlot. We are in love. You are a skank. You and Bryan are nothing. Get out of our lives."
I rubbed my head exhaustedly and replied coolly, "Believe me, honey. I'm working on it."

A second feverish dream came last night, as my fever was finally breaking (hopefully this time for good) and featured a real-life friend of mine, who in this real life has a very real girlfriend, and who I have also not once been romantically interested in. Just so everyone knows that.

**For his protection, names have been changed.

"*Jack, This has been such a fun day today!"
"It really has! Thanks so much for coming, Erin. You are a great date."
"Haha, that rhymes.. thanks."
"No problem. I am glad we met, you know."
"Me too. It has been good times."
"Definitely. I can't wait to see you again."
"Me too."
He reached out his arms to me, and we hugged warmly.
In a split second, my brain was racing with thoughts, and I knew I had to say it. So I got on my tiptoes up to his shoulder, and whispered to him.
"I'll see you later....... I love you."
He didn't respond.
I let go of him and ran off down the hallway to my apartment, shutting the door swiftly behind me. Amy came to greet me.
"How did it go??"
"But... it was your first date."
"Yep. Stupid Erin! Stupid Erin! Stupid stupid stupid!!!" I scolded myself, smacking to forehead idiotically.
Amy pulled me away from the door so that no one else would hear me. I slammed one hand on the table in frustration and with the other, I reached over and punched the concrete wall.
"I can never talk to him again!! Ugh!!!"

So there you have it. Apparently, when I am sick, my subconscious turns my life into either a soap opera or a high school drama.

You know, when I woke up this morning, I had a scrape on my knuckle.. right where, you could say, someone might hit their hand while punching a wall.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

In case anyone was wondering,

I am not dead.

But I do likely have mono.

Which, kind of blows.

I also might have passed out three times yesterday... twice at the doctor, and once at wal-mart.

So basically, my friend and I are just waiting for my picture to appear on PeopleofWalmart.

Also, if anyone has any tips on how to survive/deal with Mono, it would be very much appreciated.

That is all.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sadness wreaks the Turtle Belt household once again.

Unfortunately, it appears that Nilla fell ill soon after coming to her new home.

We lost another one. :(

We would also like to take this opportunity to mourn the loss of Bianca "Shiny" Gonzalez, a fellow hermit crab roommate.

Our hearts are heavy and distraught at these recent events. Your sympathies are all appreciated. Many thanks.