Apparently, when I am sick, I dream about boys.
Who even does that?
Particularly because its basically the last thing on my mind while I've been lying restless in bed in my illness for four days, trying not to pass out or upchuck, praying that the sweltering heat or freezing cold that plagues my body will stop appearing and reappearing.
So on Thursday night I fell asleep amongst the throes of a thriving fever of 102.
Here's a little taste.
"Erin, please! Why won't you marry me!"
"Because, Bryan! You have a girlfriend! You must love her."
"But what we have together is so special!"
"It was a one-night stand, you idiot. Almost a year ago!"
"But Erin, I love you!"
"But you never even called, you turdburgalor! So it was a one-night stand! And you can't let our childish foolishness get in the way of what could be true happiness with Mckayla. You've just announced on facebook that you love HER! And we all know that facebook is a big honkin deal!"
"But I just don't know if I can do it anymore.. Hold back my feelings for you and keep her and the rest of the world in the dark about our love."
"WHERE THE EFF IS THIS COMING FROM??!!"
And thats when Bryan left the room, his face and heart fallen, a sad, lonely tear falling down his cheek. I heard him meet Mckayla outside. She asked what was wrong, and he mournfully looked back at my doorway as his head sank, and he sullenly slunk off.
Mckayla's glare was icy as she came to my door.
"Stay away from my man, you harlot. We are in love. You are a skank. You and Bryan are nothing. Get out of our lives."
I rubbed my head exhaustedly and replied coolly, "Believe me, honey. I'm working on it."
A second feverish dream came last night, as my fever was finally breaking (hopefully this time for good) and featured a real-life friend of mine, who in this real life has a very real girlfriend, and who I have also not once been romantically interested in. Just so everyone knows that.
**For his protection, names have been changed.
"*Jack, This has been such a fun day today!"
"It really has! Thanks so much for coming, Erin. You are a great date."
"Haha, that rhymes.. thanks."
"No problem. I am glad we met, you know."
"Me too. It has been good times."
"Definitely. I can't wait to see you again."
He reached out his arms to me, and we hugged warmly.
In a split second, my brain was racing with thoughts, and I knew I had to say it. So I got on my tiptoes up to his shoulder, and whispered to him.
"I'll see you later....... I love you."
He didn't respond.
I let go of him and ran off down the hallway to my apartment, shutting the door swiftly behind me. Amy came to greet me.
"How did it go??"
"I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM, AMES. WHAT. WAS I. THINKING. AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH."
"But... it was your first date."
"Yep. Stupid Erin! Stupid Erin! Stupid stupid stupid!!!" I scolded myself, smacking to forehead idiotically.
Amy pulled me away from the door so that no one else would hear me. I slammed one hand on the table in frustration and with the other, I reached over and punched the concrete wall.
"I can never talk to him again!! Ugh!!!"
So there you have it. Apparently, when I am sick, my subconscious turns my life into either a soap opera or a high school drama.
You know, when I woke up this morning, I had a scrape on my knuckle.. right where, you could say, someone might hit their hand while punching a wall.