Monday, February 27, 2012

In case you hadn't gathered it yet, ...

I live an extremely unexciting life.

I kid you not.

The most eventful thing that happened to me in recent times is that I dyed me hair. Yep, terribly exciting, I know.

I try really hard to make it at least slightly more exciting than it is. Alas, I don't think my efforts were greatly rewarded.

Oh well. At least my mom thinks I'm funny.

In other news, there are roughly 8 weeks left until I

A. Graduate college
2. Get to go to California for the first time and
Third. Move back to the dirty south, where people have normal perceptions of things and don't drive me quite as insane as they seem to in Utah.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I've just had a stroke of genius.

I know who we can elect for President. 

We could have a black president.... 

And a woman president..... 

AND a Mormon president.... 

Yeah. I know. 
It'd be like killing a whole fetching flock of birds with one stone. 

And what is the name of this stone? 

Why, its Gladys Knight. 

You're welcome, America. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

A Long Held-in Rant

I am sick and tired of people giving me flack.

I can't even describe to you how many times, especially this year, that this has happened to me.

I am graduating from Brigham Young University in April of this year with my bachelor's degree in Spanish and a minor in Sociology. I have been at school for four years, and this is the usual anticipated graduation date for someone my age and year.

It is not an uncommon occurrence that someone asks me what year I am in school, and I say "Senior; I'm graduating in April."

About 85%, if not more, of the time the questioner then becomes an interrogator when they respond with, "What? Unmarried?!"

Depending on the situation, I generally try my best to be polite and respectful with a "yes sir, yes ma'am, etc etc," and explain that I have plans to move back to the east coast/south after finishing school and beginning some type of career from there on. Which is a normal manner of answering.

The problem with the culture and attitude of people around here is that this is apparently not an acceptable occurrence, i.e. graduating from BYU a single female.

I have had innumerable conversations throughout this year with many, many individuals who have expressed shock and awe when I tell them the following:

I do not want to be married right now.

If I wanted to be married, I would be. It is a purposeful choice.

Often, what then follows is someone's poorly thought out argument that I am never going to find someone in any other part of the world, and that I am quickly losing my opportunity here in Utah; apparently I am not getting any younger. I was literally told one day, that even if I do find and marry an LDS member outside of Utah, he's apparently likely to go inactive, and then by consequence, I will go inactive, and as a consequence of THAT my children and descendants will be inactive or nonmembers and will thereby help to condemn this world.

"We're just worried about your future, Erin."

You cant make this stuff up.

Well I have a rebuttal for you, ladies and gentlemen.

This is ridiculous.

Only in a place and cmmunity like this is that not completely insane. Did you know that the Average age of marriage of women in 2010 was 26 years old?
Is there something wrong with that? I certainly don't see anything wrong with that.

Its not like I'm in the minority here. 75% of BYU students are single. Only 25% are married. And thats of over 32,000 students in 2011.

Its not like my baby making eggs are going to die off and leave me lonely and childless for the rest of my life.

I am 21 years old. My eggs aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

I'm not going to let you tell me what kind of life I ought to be living. I have a life, and its a dang good one for the most part. I will move forward to that stage of life when I am good and ready. You have no right to rush me.

So stop being all agog and agasp when I tell you that I am unmarried, with no immediate intentions to be otherwise. You're going to catch flies with that mouth.

It is my own choice to be who I am, where I am, whether that is with a husband or not.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Bacon Wednesday

I don't know why, but I feel compelled to post pictures of bacon related items today.

I don't even like bacon that much. I know, shoot me.

But for some reason, I have an unquenchable desire to try a baconater one day. Perhaps I'll start with the Son of the Baconater and work my way up to the big guy.

I really can't explain my actions to you. There's just a lot of bacon-related merchandise on the internet and it makes me giggle.

That is all.

I find each and every one of these things simultaneously delightful and upsetting.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Erin's Whimsical Wishlist.

I would like to announce a new feature on Turtle Belt.

Introducing..... Erin's Whimsical Wishlist.

This is where I shall announce the strange, bizarre, and otherwise awkward items that I stumble across on the internets, and share them with the rest of the internets. And occasionally, when finances permit, purchase one and even share my experience via photos. It will be grand.

Today's whimsical wishlist brought to you from "" and ""


Giant Plush Gallbladder
I will hug her and love her and call her Hortencia, and she shall be mine. And she shall be my Hortencia.

Bacon Bandaids
This would certainly bring a new sass and style to my constant accidental self inflicted wounds.

Nice Jewish Guys Calendar
I may not be Jewish, but oy vey.

Shark Attack! Mug
heh. heh heh. heh.

Taco Purse
asdf;lkjasdf;kjasdf;ljk. yeah.

Like and Dislike Stamp Set
I'm pretty sure I would use these more on people's foreheads than on actual things.
I own none of the above photographs, and am in no way compensated by the aforementioned websites, except for in my dreams. In my dreams, they give me lots of money and free things and then I roll around in a big pile of money and then the CEO's and I have a lovely cup of tea together and discuss Sumatrian politics. Also, I can fly.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Too good and too appropriate to not post.

Stumbling about pinterest this morning, I found a charming little ditty entitled "Morning Poem."

My family and roommates know that I am very much not a morning person. Therefore, I would like to dedicate this (edited) poem to the brave souls who are courageous enough to share a living space with me in the mornings. Its not an easy job, folks. Let their strength be shown.


I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his ****ing head.
I'm not a morning person.