Seeking a single, straight, human male in his 20s
Must be able to put up with minor cross dressing on occasion
Must have lock picking skills to be used on occasion when female gets stuck in wooden cabinets
Must be able to defend oneself against random counts of joyous attack
Must be equipped to deal with stressful situations
Must be flexible for the occasional game of twister
Must have good dental hygiene
Must have an affinity for legwarmers and loud, colorful clothing when necessary
Must be helpful in assisting clumsy partner on a regular basis
Must enjoy the finer things in life, such as Equestrianism
Must enjoy sports
Must be willing to celebrate holidays of invented country on demand
Must be able to dress up as ninja on short notice for espionage missions
Must be willing to put up with minor domestic abuse
Must be handy around the house, and able to fit into semi-small crawl spaces
Must be able to handle ALL OF THIS BIDNESS UP IN HERE HOLLA
Must enjoy the occasional chocolatey snack, guilt free
Must enjoy Baked Goods
Must enjoy healthy living and a 'green' diet.
If you fit these requirements, please contact us at
ask for Erin, Urrn, Ethel, Eppy, E.D. or Ronnie.
Ability to drop everything and act like a bird is preferable.