6 Reasons why You shouldn't be listening to Christmas Music right now.

(at least, not for a little while.)

Dear girl sitting across from me at work.

I hate you.

Why do I hate you?

You have Pandora streaming Christmas music on your computer right now.

You say you've been patient. You say you've waited long enough to start up your festivities.

Let me tell you something--I have a few really good reasons why you should NOT be listening to Christmas music right now.


1. Halloween was, uh, 4 days ago. It should be illegal to be able to change holiday moods so quickly, to go from 'spooky creepy ghosties death etc' to 'happy joy snowflakes holly presents Santa' in such a bi-polar manner.

2. Everyone knows that the Christmas season doesn't start until Santa Claus finishes off the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade every year. DUH.

3. We haven't even had Thanksgiving yet! Stop trying to shove Holidays in my face!! We haven't even been given time to enjoy the last one yet! Some of us just aren't as ready to jump head first into the next round of decorating and themed foods.

4. I haven't even THOUGHT about buying Christmas presents yet. You're making me feel inadequate. Which makes me angry. Which makes me want to punch you in the face. Therefore:
You + Christmas Music=My Fist x Your Face. That's math, and therefore irrefutable.

5. Fortunately for you, we as citizens of the U.S. have this whole free-speech deal thing going on. So yeah, listen to your junk if you have to. But as with any type of music, at least have the common courtesy to put your headphones in. That's what everyone else is doing. What makes you better? If I took my headphones out right now and forced you to listen to the 'Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' track I have on repeat right now, you wouldn't appreciate it, now would you? Its the same basic concept.

And Finally, The Most Unarguable reason of all:

6. ITS NOT STINKIN CHRISTMAS YET.

Bam.