5 good reasons to never watch TV ever again.

1. Simon Cowell has left American Idol. That show is hardly worth watching without him.

2. Lost is over. Nuff said.

3. Oprah is leaving. Obviously this is one of the signs of the times, and we all ought to just work on our food storage now, since there's probably not going to be much more time left for us.

4. Barbara Walters isn't going to be around forever. Do we all want to suffer that kind of heartbreak when we can't tune in to The View and hear her charming voice?

5. Every year, the Superbowl Halftime Show gets less awesome. Next thing you know, we'll be stuck watching a pre-recorded tape of the runners up of Reality TV Shows doing a collaboration of Ricky Martin songs and "Pants on the Ground."