Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Zombies, Dance-offs, Steve Carrell, and... Marijuana?

Wanna hear about my dream last night? Course you do.

It was extraordinarily vivid. It felt like I was watching a movie.

I was in my current apatment, here at the FLSR, and there was news of a worldwide zombie breakout. The government ws releasing information like, "How to tell if your loved ones and friends are zombies" complete with full color posters. Apparently, if you wanted to know, a zombie is distinguished by greenish-tinged skin and reddened irises. Think twilight vampire type eyeballs.

I knew I had to get to the bus stop for some reason, and somehow not be detected by the zombies outside. There were some other people from the complex down in a courtyard area just outside the stairs to my apartment, running around a little haphazardly, freaking out and planning as per the zombie attacks. I somehw knew that any minute, the zombies would show up, and I had to find some way to distract them so that i could get to the bus stop without being zombified. My roommates and companions helped me prepare, by giving me stiff collars and scarves to cover up my neck, which is apparently where the zombies attempt to attack.

I went out the door, hesitating above the stairs, waiting for an opportunity to make a break for it. All of a sudden I heard music, and saw a chubby guy below in the courtyard begin dancing. I knew I had an opportunity here, so I took it. I let out a "Wooo!" and started dancing down the stairs, busting moves and breaking it down. The other dude saw it, and knew a challenge was afoot. We started this intense dance off, which, of course, I ultimately dominated in. As he was jamming out, I took a chance and dashed off to the bus stop.

By the time I got to the bus, I was no longer me, but Tina Fey. Yeah, I dunno. Anyway, I got on the bus when it arrived, and Steve Carrell was sitting in the seat in front of me. I must have just seen a preview for "Date Night" or something. For some reason, I knew I was supposed to be on a date with Steve, and he knew too, yet we were both still avoiding the zombies carefully. We both also started trying to put the moves on each other, but the whole zombies-are-after-you thing is sort a damper on the mood.

When the bus stopped, we got off at some kind of government center/train station thing, where we were given more information about the zombies. Yet it seemed that everyone in the government was unwilling to try and solve the problem, since the zombies were seemingly unkillable. Out of frustration, Steve and I left the center, seeing a bunch of zombies and homeless stoner guys hanging out on a big stairway as we left. Steve pulled out a ciggarette, and started smoking, and for some reason I took a drag too. When I did, everything got really funny all of a sudden, which made everything a whole lot funnier. I started quoting "Matt Foley, motivational speaker" about "Rroollllllin Doobies!" And I realized that it was pot we were smoking. I also noticed that none of the zombies were attacking us, and the zombies and stoners were both smoking it and hanging out passively. We had a revelation that marijuana was the way to keep everyone safe from the zombies! Huzzah! Flash forward in time in the dream, and there was a news broadcast telling about how the government had called upon the world's drug dealers in their time of need, and was distributing pot as needed to everyone. It was also discovered that zombies who smoked pot, and those who inhaled enough secondhand smoke, would eventually be cured of their zmobie-ism, thereby returning everyone's friends and family to a normal state.

So, if you wanted to know, apparently in dreamland, zombie outbreaks are a problem, along with dance offs, and you can be Tina Fey if you want, but in the end pot will solve the problem.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.


Masked McKenna said...

Zombies and a date with Steve Carrell AND a dance off? I hope the apocalypse really does turn out like that!

Deb in GA said...

Erin, wow. What did you eat before going to bed?? What did you watch on TV?? You send your kid off to college and she becomes zombie fodder....